Why? Why would God use those kind of people? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say God was hard-pressed to find a single perfect person to use. In all the world, surely he was able to find ONE person void of sin to make a point, move his people, convey his purpose? Nope.
This isn't too hard to wrap my brain around, after all, with the exception of His one and only Son, no one is perfect. Why then, are we so harsh and judgemental toward others who aren't flawless? Because we are? No. Because we are trying to be and the only way to feel better about our issues is to make a stink over someone else's? More than likely. Concerning this, in Matthew 7, Jesus urges us to stop judging others.
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about the speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the speck in your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your own eye." Matthew 7:1-5
I don't think it's a secret that I suffer from a fair amount of depression and anxiety. Some of that is genetic and some of that comes from a perceived pressure I feel to please others and put on that mask that says I generally "have it all together". A lot of friends comment on my need to have a clean house, my organizational "systems", and my need to be on time. However, these things really are just ways that I can control my broken-ness. Yes, I'm a mess, but at least my toilets are clean! Yes, I realize how ridiculous this is!
Recently there was a situation in which a fellow Christian actually said, "It looks like you still have a lot of shaping to do as a Christian." Ouch! No really. I cried, and my heart literally hurt. I was hurt because I KNOW I'm broken, I KNOW I fall short of God's glory, but to have it pointed out by another person, someone you aren't even close to? Ouch! That was some judgement at it's finest.
However, the more I think about it, the more I realize they might have said "The sky is blue.", because the statement would have been just as true. Just as much of a fact. I will always have some shaping to do as a Christian. We all will. We are all imperfect. We all need God's grace. We all have flaws. Just like those people God used all those years ago, I'm hoping He can use me, and my flaws to reach others. To show others that no one is exempt from his grace. Having it all together only masks our need for Him and masks our ability to show others "Hey, it's okay. I need him to!". I can arguably say more people will find Christ through the ones willing to show their flaws, than the ones who act like they have it all figured out.
For reference:
1. My house my look clean, but please don't look in my pantry, fridge, or attic. They are completely disasters.
2. I have no clue what I'm doing as a mum. Often times surviving the day is the most I can say we accomplished. I can't afford private school, and I don't have the patience nor the qualifications to homeschool, thank God for teachers - especially the public school ones. We try really hard to eat healthy, but McDonald's and Kraft Mac & Cheese works it's way in there.
3. I have serious guilt over being a working mum. If I wasn't working Holden might be more obedient, and Adelaide might know the difference between an "L" and a "Q", but I honestly hope my job teaches them what serving other looks like and maybe they will forgive me for that at some point.
4. I love ALL types of music. Secular and not. God made a lots of different people with lots of different music talents and I plan to enjoy them.
5. My favorite hobby is eating. That's the only thing that keeps my running (literally).
6. I have two tattoos and and looking to get a 3rd as soon as someone...gives the go ahead.
7. I'm a pretty insecure friend. I'm almost certain I like people, more than they like me.
8. I'm sarcastic and realize that isn't becoming. Good thing Nick is too. We laugh a lot at each other expense.
Here are just a few of my many many flaws. I hope we can all drop the charade. After all, not one of us is perfect and at the very least this Christian walk might seem a little less lonely.
